What kids really will eat and meals that work for families

Practical strategies to end the tears and fears around meal times with kids.

Following our “Ask Jessica and Jeremy” this week about meals that kids will eat without complaining and getting kids to try new foods, we decided to have a second article with more of the practical part of feeding kids without tears (and hopefully without tears for them too).

Photo by Lily Banse on Unsplash

Real talk… we have no idea if the practical suggestions in this article will actually work for your family. We do not have a magic ball and even if we did, we’re talking kids here, their likes and dislikes change by the second.

We are not magic.

But we do have a LOT of experience and evidence based strategies so while not a spell or magic potion, chances are something in here will at least help a little.

After exploring the internal work we need to do and the relational paradigm shift we may need around meal times and feeding our children we have to look at how that plays out in tangible ways. This part is really, really, really the crux of it all so if you haven’t read that yet, you might want to. You can find it here.

We started with Ellen Satter’s division of responsibility. As long as our children were not going without food and compromising their health, we felt this approach served our parenting purpose well.

Note: “kids won’t starve themselves” is a myth. While many children will eventually cave and eat something they don’t like or want, some kids absolutely will starve themselves. And sometimes for good reasons. If they are struggling with the mechanics of swallowing certain textures, for example, they’re going to refuse food that is that texture or even MIGHT be that texture. They aren’t being difficult, they are being protective. They may have a kind of mental block or anxiety about some foods and that is just as real of a hurdle as a physical block. Trust kids about their experience with their bodies, forcing them to eat something they don’t feel safe with just marks you as not safe for them either. For children that are really struggling to have a complete nutritional profile and have difficulty with many foods, speak to your child’s health care provider and consider seeing a pediatric feeding specialist such as an OT or SLP.

We make sure there was something each of them would eat served at every meal and that any time we introduce a new food, it is not a surprise nor the only option available and (unless universally disliked) introduced several times as a new food in several different presentations.

This can seem overwhelming but it really can be pretty simple and once set up, kind of runs itself. The hardest part can just be letting go of control and adjusting your expectations.

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty here.